Honest Abe says: “Me : Attached, but bored. Honest. Down-to-earth. Very healthy, clean, D/D free. Non-smoker. Nice, lean, attractive body. Facially attractive. Strong, healthy sex drive. Discreet. Can be trusted.
YOU should be :
Single or attached. Nice, real, and not a game-player (Attached, not a game player, but willing to sleep around. And when this person ends up being a “game player” you will be genuinely surprised, right?). Serious about meeting somewhere. Thin/lean or curvy/busty..either one is fine. Likes a bit of adventure. Somewhat accessible to Palatine/Kildeer/Lake Zurich/Long Grove, etc. Age unimportant but no one under 21!! Or over 50…thank you.
Write me back. Include some type of picture and a little about yourself and whereabouts your located. Women ONLY…….NO, i repeat, NO men!”
Let’s review. He is attached “but bored”, honest, and can be trusted. Hmmm…. The critical thinker in me says something just doesn’t add up here. Could it be that honest and trustworthy people do not lie to and cheat on their partners? Oh, yes. I do believe that is it. What Honest Abe needs is a good kick to the balls. That will clear up his muddled thinking, I believe.
Think a wibbly wobbly timey might be what happens after you have “just one more” drink. Or maybe it’s when you spin around and around and around, and feel like you are going to fall over. Either way, it doesn’t sound all that great.
Huge Nerd says: “Behold I am a huge nerd, I think my glasses are so big could be used to burn down small towns using the power of the sun (That will be helpful when you need to strike down vengeance on some place. Small town cops give you a speeding ticket for going 2 miles over the limit? No problem. Just borrow his glasses.). When I was a child I was scared of the flying monkeys from the move version of The Wizard of Oz (Whoopdy doo.). My last girlfriend dumped me for her lesbian friend, I have that effect on women (Oh, good.). I spend my evenings trying to ignore my loud drunk unemployed roomie who has a penchant for story telling (That sounds wonderful.).
Please save my from my roommate for he is a tough foe, and give me excuse to leave my domicile. I wonder how long before we are considered to be a married couple under common law (Probably soon.). I’m 27 I have a full time job, I have a vehicle that goes forward and backward if I’m lucky (Hmmm… That is a desirable quality in a car.) . I don’t smoke and I live in aurora. If you’ve read this far please put “Good Adventures” in the subject line so I know your not a spammer.
Hope to hear from you soon,”
Decent Looking says: “Hi! Let’s enjoy an evening with a drink and some good company. What have we got to loose? I’m buying!
Just looking to get together with someone this afternoon or night. Let’s get together, have a drink, chat, flirt and see where things go. No pressure.
I’m decent looking, have a good sense of humor and am respectful. I can converse and flirt. Otherwise white, fit/slender and tall. And open minded and adventurous.
Into all walks of life- shapes, sizes and ages. Let’s chat and go from there.
Please reply with “fresh air” in the subject line.
Look forward to hearing from you!”
No pressure! He’ll just not be wearing any underwear and will have his pants undone. Take it or leave it. It’s up to you.