Dumped for Dutch says: “My wants and needs are quite simplistic. That and you not be bitchy and crazy on meds. The only reason you are walking around on the streets is because they closed all the mental hospitals. (It’s not really clear if this is something you want or something you don’t want.)
It’s kind of sad that one has to start things out that way but it’s really true with meeting people off the Internet.
That being said I’m considered reasonably attractive. I’m 5’10, 180 lbs, average sized wang…I’m not sure how you measure it. (Not sure? Or playing ignorant so as to not have to provide actual measurements? Because I would imagine measuring a “Wang”, as you so gracefully put it, is a lot like measuring anything else. Is this your subtle way of letting us know you have sub par intelligence? Because that was apparent with your opening sentences.) I was once with a woman who seemed to have measuring thing in her vagina she said it was about 8 when I cum. I know that might be TMI. (Yes, that is indeed too much information.)
Aside from that I tend to like animals over humans. (By “like animals over humans” do you mean you are one of those weirdos having sex with horses? If so, you should be more clear. That is something people really ought to know.) It’s a much more simplistic relationship. If you’re good to them they are good to you…humans aren’t that way. You can come home from work one day and find a message that says ‘I decided to date this guy Dutch because he’s cool he has an eye patch’ and you think what does that mean?” (It’s really quite simple, Dumped for Dutch, he has an eye patch. ‘Nuff said. His penis probably measured greater than average according to her internal, vaginal measuring system that you cannot seem to figure out. Also, maybe he’s not shlobbing a horse’s knob. These are just some of the reasons that pop into my head and I have only been pondering this conundrum for a few fleeting moments…)
I think the most confusing part of this post is the title. Is he listing things he has or wants?? Because that could be a real game changer.