You and every other guy.
Another Selfless Knight says: “Hey all you girls out there. Are you feeling lonely today or depressed? (They would have to be mighty depressed to be sold on this.) Is your boyfriend or husband not giving you the attention you deserve?(Yes, because you know it is such a common problem for women that men do not want to paw at their breasts.) Well I am here to fix that. (At last! Some gentlemanly gentlemen to desire my bosom. *swoon*)I am that tall, hot guy who will caress, kiss, and suck on your breasts till you quiver! Yes I love to make all women feel good with my magic touch! (His touch is magical. You may have thought it was just going to be some regular groping, but you were wrong. His groping will sparkle like unicorn poop.) So get back to me if you want some attention. Please send pics to show that you are a girl. (I’ll have you know man boobs need love, too!! I can’t get down with discrimination. I was totally going to succumb to your seductive tall, dark, handsomeness but not now. Nope.)Thanks.”
I think the Breast Inspector beat you to this.
Who are these guys? Jeez…