Have you dreamed of exploring strange new worlds? To seek out new life and new civilizations? To boldly go where no one has gone before? Of course you have!! But this isn’t that chance. This is just some weird old guy’s half assed effort at getting into your pants. Craigslist lets us down again….
Captain says: “This is you captain speaking Welcome to the Starship EnterpriseXX. I am seeking candidates for my upcoming Journies. In in order to be selected you must meet the physical qualifications which include that you are Earth born (Sorry alien ho’s, you’ll have to find another Captain), of the female sex over 21 but less than 45 with strong endurance, Slender of body per StarFleet regulations and in order to help maximize our food supplies (Don’t be eating all the food heffer. A man needs his snacks!).
If accepted into our rigorus training you must understand that you are required to be obediant to my every command or face punishment as deemed necessary by the captain. Your committment must be total. This mean No Holes barred. Our journeys may be be dangerous with long hours spent working under me at the bridge or wherever you are assigned. At times you have to swallow your pride or whatever else is required to meet the needs of Strfleet and the EnterpiseXXX (Really “swallow your pride or whatever else…” was the best you could come up with? What did you put all of 2 seconds worth of thought into this? Jeez…).
IF you are interested in joining our elite organization please respond with a full length applicant picture with a short description of your special skills that may enahnce our crew. Please direct the subject of your response to “I want to join EnterpriseXXX” Further Deatils will be provided on approval of your initial request”
Don’t be sad if you don’t hear back. I imagine the applications are just pouring in and there can only be so many successful candidates. I mean being a captain is busy work.